Rubbermaid Bathbench

Every once in a while I come accross an outstanding caregiving product. Rubber maids, bath and shower bench is really outstanding.

This product is much more sturdy than the standard bathbench with metal legs. It's base is a bit wider to provide more stability. It is also surprisingly light weight.

The adjustable legs are very easy to adjust. You just turn the base until you get it to just the right height.

The bench is easy to clean, and by design does not promote mold growth like some of the standard benches. The seat is very easily rinsed clean.

I have provided a link that you may use to see what the bench looks like.

After personally having a chance to use this bench in a caregiving role, I would highly recommend this bench.

For those who are caregiving for someone who is incontinentof bowel or bladder or for someone who slides when giving them a shower, I would recommend a padded transfer bench that has a seat that is like a toilet seat.

Medicaid will cover the cost of a bathbench if you have your doctor write an order for one. It is recommended that you order it through a pharmacy that will ensure that the proper forms are filled out.~ Dutchy

Fish Oils

Q:I have heard some about fish oils, can they prevent Alzheimer's?

A: Sometimes a question comes accross my desk that I don't know the answer to. (imagine that!) This one on fish oil for instance. However, I thought I would research it and show you what I found. Here are several websites that discuss fish oil.

http://www.pinc.com/healthnews/fishoils.html
http://www.oilofpisces.com
http://circ.ahajournals.org/cgi/content/full/106/21/2747

After reading these artilces on fish oil I think I will go buy some, for whatever ails me ~ Dutchy

Early Onset Alzheimer's Dementia

Statistics show that about 300,000. Americans have early onset Alzheimer's Dementia.

In an effort to support those families afflicted at such an early age, My Care Link has provided a forum for those who are suffering from EOAD and for their caregivers.

Families who are faced with EOAD, have an overwhelming amount of struggles that they are faced with. Because this Alzheimer's affects them at a younger age, they may still have jobs, children at home, it affects them financially and socially.

The following is a forum post discussing the problems associated with one of the social aspects that some suffering from EOAD have experienced.

One of the many problems families dealing with early onset Alzheimer's Dementia face is the fact that most of the time, their friends don't hang around to be a support system for them.

Some friends simply cannot weather the storm of watching a friend decline in this manner.

While other friends simply move on due to the inability of the affected couple/person to contribute to the friendship in the same manner they did before Alzheimer’s caregiving issues overcame them.

Whichever the case may be, we find an overwhelming number of caregivers discouraged by their friends lack of support.

The caregiver is left no choice but to make a new support system for themselves. Building a new support system is easier said than done.

I have done quite a bit of research online, only to find that most of the support for caregivers is found in the form of information. Did you know that their is a federal mandate to "reform support for caregivers?"

In response to this federal mandate federal agencies are ensuring that information is provided in the form of pamphlets, brochures, or phone number lists. To me this suggests a major disconnect between a government and their people. (We’ll not get political here) I believe that many agencies have missed the boat on the reform support. Perhaps a different person would see their efforts as making "great strides." In this particular situation I would have to say that the private boards have done a much better job than the federal mandate. In the fact that they draw people together to provide support.

I tend to believe that in order to truly reform support for caregivers we need to include classes for friends of those with Alzheimer's. If in the next 20 years the population of those with Alzheimer's triples and we see more and more young people affected, our support for caregivers needs to be expanded far beyond information.

We can't solve this problem by just giving out information to the caregivers, especially when the caregivers are already so isolated.

Several months ago a friend suggested a program called "Reach Back” She suggested this for those who have gone through the struggle as a way of helping the one who is coming up behind you. (She gave me permission to use her idea)

While those who have cared for a loved one with Alzheimer's especially younger people whose spouses have suffered from EOAD, know what it is like to lose their friendships, and suffer from isolation are still feeling the strong losses, I would pray that they would be willing to stand up and stress what friendship means to someone who is going through this process. Hopefully they will make a difference in those lives of the ones who are coming behind them. If caregivers would open up and "Reach Back" I believe we will be able to offer a true support system.

To all of the families who are dealing with EOAD, we send a special prayer ~ Dutchy

"Ask Dutchy" Quick Alzheimer's Caregiver Tip #3

These are some warning signs of caregiver burn out.


* Fatigue, or feeling tired most of the time
* A change in eating habits resulting in unwanted weight gain or loss
* Problems sleeping to much or not enough
* A loss of interest in people and activities that had been pleasurable
* Becoming easily agitated, anxious, angered, frustrated, overwhelmed
* Feeling that nothing you do is good enough
* Persistent “what’s the use” thinking
* Thoughts of death or suicide
* Ongoing physical symptoms that don’t respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders and chronic pain

Remember: you can be a more effective caregiver if you take good care of yourself.

website source

Patient abusing the caregiver

Is it ever ok for a person with Alzheimer's to hit the person providing care for them? Can a person with Alzheimer's truly understand when they are hurting another person? If a person with Alzheimer's is hitting the caregiver what should the caregiver do in response?

The instance where the caregiver is abusing the person to whom they are providing care for far outweighs the instance of abuse from resident or patient to caregiver. However the problem still exists.

I have read on numerous boards and talked to some adult family home providers about this very problem. It is never ok to allow yourself to be hit by your care recipient...Alzheimer's/Dementia or ANY other reason!

The good new is most of the time, a person with Alzheimer's knows that hitting is not acceptable.

Here are a few suggested responses to being hit.

1. Sternly tell them you are not to be hit. Make sure they know you are very serious. Don't threaten, just state the fact. "Do not hit me!"

2. Assess the situation in which you were hit. If you were to change your method of doing a certain activity, would it be likely that they wouldn’t hit you again? For example, you grabbed at their shirt to help them take it off, instead of slowly approaching them, and talking them through the process.

3. If hitting continues to be a problem, you may seriously wish to consider placing your loved one in a long-term care facility where their behavior can be better managed.

In the process of providing care, do not let yourself become a victim. ~ Dutchy

Long-term Care for the Elderly

" A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love." - Mother Theresa

This is today's random quote on www.mycarelink.net

For years Mother Theresa took care of orphans and the sick of Calcutta. She saw misery, sickness and death daily. Yet she still could speak of a joyful heart.

While caregivers have many struggles I am sure that they would agree that their "hearts burn with love" for those they provide care for.

There is not enough money in the world to pay a caregiver what they are worth.

It is often a thankless job, that leaves the caregiver filled with guilt, anxiety, and stress. Yet, there are literally millions of caregivers, who like Mother Theresa have a place in their hearts to put others before themselves.

As you struggle through the daily tasks that may seem to overwhelm you, keep your chin up, know in your heart that you are very much loved and appreciated. ~ Dutchy

"Ask Dutchy" Quick Alzheimer's Caregiver Tip #2

While it is important for a person with Alzheimer's to have a consistant routine, it is just as important for a caregiver to break out and do something spontanious, just to maintain their sanity.

1. Enjoy a glass of your favorite wine.
2. Make yourself a fancy dessert.
3. Take a bubble bath.
4. Read a magazine.
5. Have a pizza delivered.
6. Play jazz really loud and open up the windows and doors, to let the autumn in.
7. Order something from the pampered caregiver section on our website. (ha!)

Live a little.~Dutchy

Don't let this happen to you!!! Don't Let Someone with Dementia Drive

This was posted on www.alzinfo.org today. Take those keys away. It was a real eye opener for us. We are taking those keys away. ~ Dutchy



This is new to me, I have a mother in law whom for the past two years has displayed odd behavior. Since marrying her son I have become a thief, liar and am in the process of running up her credit cards and trying to take her home. I love my husband and we have talked and talked to our friends about her behavior. We both have known her driving had been less than desired but when we deal with other family members it was hard for he and I to get our point accross that she was about to hurt herself or someone. Two weeks ago this happened. My husband and I were on our way to pick her up for an appointment (Dr.) she left driving herself approximately 10 or 15 minutes prior to our arriving. My sister in law met us stating there had been an accident involving her. Arriving to the scene behind perimedics, I found a child who stepped off his school bus in front of his route. The baby was eight years old and layed in the road motionless. I was in shoock and began running down the highway to find my mother in law setting in her car which had crashed into a power pole. I looked and looked and then began praying another car had to be involved I never found another car and realized she had passed a school bus while children were unloading. The little boys brother and someone else had just stepped off and made it to the drive way when this baby stepped he had no chance. Is there anyone who can relate to us. The DA is pressing charges and she seems not to remember she passed the bus. Is there a legal defense? She was not diagnosed until after this horrible tragedy occured? Anyone? Anthing?

End Stage Alzheimer's and Bed Sores

When you’re loved one becomes bedridden.

There will come a time when your loved one becomes bedridden. This is usually at the end stages of Alzheimer’s. When a loved one is bedridden there are several concerns that should be addressed.

Preventing pressure/bed sores/ulcers
Cleanliness


At this stage of the disease your job will be to literally hold them together and keep them comfortable until their eventual passing.

Those who are in bed are very susceptible to getting bedsores. They lie in the same position for long amounts of time. They have probably lost a good deal of weight and they don't have any fat for padding to protect their skin from their own bones. Or they aren't eating well and may be malnourished causing poor skin integrity.

Another cause of skin breakdown is just the rubbing of clothes, sheets or blankets against the skin. Add to that moisture from sweat and urine, which does leak out of attends in spite of good intentions.


Symptoms of a pressure ulcer may include:

* Skin tissue that feels firm or boggy (if you were a child of the 80's boggy feels like Stretch Armstrong)
* Local redness, warmth, tenderness or swelling
* Reddish or purplish skin discoloration, often over a bony area
* Pain or itching of the skin
* Blistering, sores skin breakdown or drainage

If the redness remains a half-hour after the pressure has been removed, the skin will likely break down. The reddened area may blister and a shallow ulcer may develop. Fluid may drain. The wound can deepen and can extend through fat and muscle to the bone. At any stage bedsores are very painful. The wound can become infected, with redness, swelling, odor, pus, warmth and fever. If untreated, the infection can progress to gangrene, a blood infection, or an infection of the bone beneath. Pressure sores are very serious! Often times with a bed sore, it might not look very big on the surface, but underneath it may be very deep.

Here are some good positioning techniques.

* Avoid placing any weights or pressure on the wound.
* Change position at least every two hours, most would say this needs to be done around the clock.
* Make sure their body is in a comfortable position.
* Make sure bedclothes are clean and without wrinkles.
* If the problem persists you may need to acquire an alternating air pressure mattress.
* Use a “draw sheet” to move your loved one rather than pull the bed sheet or the patient to move them.

By far I believe the key to keeping your loved one free from bedsores rests on your ability to keep them clean. Urine can be a real problem in the end stages, because it is so concentrated. There is nothing that works better at getting them clean than plain old soap, water, and a washcloth. Make sure you rinse well as the soap will cause skin irritation.

Here is a link to a section on www.mycarelink.net forum concerning bed baths.

Take care ~ Dutchy

Touch Helps Elderly to Stay Connected

Everyone needs touch to stay connected in this world.

When caring for the elderly touch is very important.

As the primary caregiver you are the connection to touch for that person.

I have found that often gently back massages or a light back scratch really lifts the spirits of those who are agitated, grumpy, or depressed.

Just getting a person dressed, or cleaned up isn’t enough touch.

You need to invest some time and make that touch count.

Here are some ideas for touch that will also help you accomplish a task.

1. Give them a nice foot soak, rub and massage.
2. Rub lotion into their backs, doing this before bed may help them relax.
3. Get a nice cloth bag with Lavender or other herbs and spices warm it up in the microwave (make sure it is not hot) and place it around their shoulders.
4. Put on fingernail polish
5. Dance with them.
6. Just about everyone will accept a hug, or a nice kiss on the forehead!

Hugs ~ Dutchy

"Ask Dutchy" Quick Alzheimer's Caregiver Tip.

Pull up incontinence briefs can take a lot of effort if the person to whom you are providing care for is frequently incontinent. If you are having to change briefs frequently you might want to try a brief with elastic bands around the side that unbutton. This type of brief is designed to make removal of the soiled pad quick and easy and most importantly it will not require the removal of clothes.

These briefs can be found at almost any pharmacy. ~ Dutchy

Multi-Infarct Dementia

What is Multi-Infarct Dementia?
Multi-infarct dementia is the second most common cause of dementia in older people. Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish from Alzheimer’s disease, which is the most common cause of dementia in older persons. It is possible for a person to have both multi-infarct dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, making it hard for the doctor to diagnose either.


Causes Of Multi-Infarct Dementia
Multi-infarct dementia is caused by a series of strokes that damage or destroy brain tissue. A stroke occurs when blood cannot get to the brain. A blood clot or fatty deposits (called plaques) can block the vessels that supply blood to the brain, causing a stroke.

Who is Affected?
Multi-infarct dementia usually affects people between the ages of 60 and 75. Men are slightly more likely than women to have this disease. However, the most important risk factor for multi-infarct dementia is high blood pressure. It is rare for a person without high blood pressure to develop multi-infarct dementia.

Symptoms Of Multi-Infarct Dementia
Symptoms that begin suddenly may be a sign of multi-infarct dementia. In addition to confusion and problems with recent memory, symptoms of multi-infarct dementia may include:

* wandering or getting lost in familiar surroundings.
* moving with rapid, shuffling steps.
* loss of bladder or bowel control.
* laughing or crying inappropriately.
* difficulty following instructions.
* problems handling money.

Multi-infarct dementia is often a result of a series of small strokes, called ministrokes or TIAs (transient ischmic attacks). The symptoms of a TIA often are very slight. They may include:
· mild weakness in an arm or a leg.
· slurred speech.
· dizziness.

The symptoms generally do not last for more than a few days. Several TIAs may occur before the person notices any symptoms of multi-infarct dementia. People with muti-infarct dementia may improve for short periods, then decline upon having further strokes.


What is a stroke? What is a TIA?

A stroke happens when too little blood flows to the brain. With too little blood flow, the brain does not get enough oxygen and important nutrients.

Sometimes people have stroke symptoms that go away quickly. This condition is called a transient ischemic attack, or TIA. A TIA is a serious warning that a stroke may happen in the near future.

Who is more likely to have a stroke?

Anyone, including infants and children, can have a stroke. However, the risk of stroke is higher in elderly people.

People who have high blood pressure, diabetes, and certain kinds of heart disease are at increased risk for stroke. The risk of stroke also is higher in people who smoke.

How do I know that I am having a stroke?

Strokes come on suddenly and often involve one side of the body. Here are some common symptoms of stroke and TIA:

* A very bad headache, especially if you also have a stiff neck or if you pass out

* Loss of vision, or double vision
* Trouble speaking, such as slurring words or being unable to think of the right words, or being unable to understand what others are saying to you
* A droopy or "twisted" face
* Weakness in your face, an arm, or a leg
* Numbness or tingling in your face (including your lips and tongue), an arm, or a leg
* Clumsiness in walking or using your arms or legs

Where can I get more information about strokes and TIAs?

You can get more information from these groups:

American Stroke Association
7272 Greenville Avenue
Dallas, TX 75231-4596
Phone number: 1-888-478-7653
Web site: http://www.strokeassociation.org

National Stroke Association
9707 East Easter Lane
Englewood, CO 80112-3747

What should I do if I think I am having a stroke or a TIA?

Call "9-1-1" right away, even if your symptoms seem to go away or get better. Do not call a family member or even your doctor until you have called "9-1-1."

You need to be taken to a hospital emergency department right away. It is not safe to drive yourself to the hospital. There are some treatments that can reverse the effects of a stroke, but only if they are given very quickly.

At the hospital, a picture of your brain will be taken, your blood pressure will be checked often, and lab tests will be done. You may be given some medicines at the hospital.

Helpful resources where I obtained this information
http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/102.cfm

http://www.aafp.org/afp/20040401/1679ph.html

Frustration...beyond words

Q:I am having problems communicating with my mother. Several months ago she had a stroke, now she has what the doctors call Dysphasia. We were planning on getting speech therapy but it is just so hard for my mother to get out of the house. Do you have any suggestions for us? Signed, Frustrated

A: First of all for those who may not know what Dyspahasia is here is the definition.

Dysphasia is characterised by a complete or partial loss of ability to understand, speak, read and write

In the past years I have worked with several people who have had dysphasia and yes, it can be very frustrating, for everyone.

There are several things I noticed that are really helpful when working with someone who has dysphasia.

1. Keep your questions simple. Do not ask a sentence with a possiblity of multiple reply's. Ask, do you want breakfast? Wait for a reply, then ask, would you like eggs? Wait for a reply.

2. When yes means no. Listen to the tone of their voice. Most of the time a person with dysphasia can still add a bit of intonation or give you a true clues as to what they are saying. Perhaps when they say yes, but mean no, they will say it lounder and with a deeper voice in comparison to an actual yes which is higher pitched.

3. Make eye contact when you are speaking with your mother. This may take away from the frustration simply because you have to be totally focused to do that. Look for furrowed eyebrows, or her rolling her eyes.

4. Keep your voice tones even. Regardless of how frustrated you are at the situation, you will find that raising the tone of your voice, or sounding irratated will only cause your mother more stress, in an already anxious environment.

5. Don't accept whining or yelling from your mother. If your mother gets frustrated and begins to whine or yell at you. Stop what you are doing and wait for the yelling or whining to stop. (sure you have to leave some room for her to get out her frustrations.) But, whining and yelling will not help the situation and it will become a nasty habbit, if you allow it to continue.

6. Establish routines. When providing care for someone with dysphasia the sooner you can establish routines, so each of you know what to expect the better the caregiving situation will be. If you do caregiving tasks at random you are only setting yourself up for more frustration.

As far as your mother getting out to do therapies, please contact your mothers primary care provider and explain the situation to him. He may be able to set you up with a therapist that comes to your home. Most hospitals or doctors offices have a social worker that should have set this up for you. Please let me know if I can help you further ~ Dutchy

Constipation in the Elderly

Here are just a few things you might want to consider if you are taking care of an elderly person who is constipated.

Here are several tips to keep them moving....

1. As always try to get them to increase their fluid intake. A good way to do this is hot water. Be careful not to give it to them while it is too hot. It will help the bowels move.

2. Several foods that might help them to get their bowels moving are cooked frozen corn, thinly sliced raw carrots, or a bit of flax seed sprinkled on their hot cereal.

3. If they are having a hard time pushing, gently rocking back and forth a bit while they are sitting on the commode or toilet may help too.

4. This might sound a bit odd, but you may try to increase their calories, this too helps them have less constipated bowel movements.

5. Some elderly people only go every three days. This is not abnormal. If they go longer in between bowel movements, you may want to ask your doctor for a stool softener such as Docussate Sodium (Doss) or Senna (a more natural laxative)

Here is a recipe that my mother made for us when we were growing up. It is packed with fiber.

All Bran Muffins

1 (15 ounce) box of all bran 100% all-bran cereal
5 cups flour
1 cup shortening, melted
3 cups sugar
1 quart buttermilk
5 teaspoons baking soda
4 eggs, beaten

Mix together; store in fridge for up to 6 weeks. Do not stir batter just spoon out enough mix for a muffin tin. Bake at 400 10-12 minutes. Of course they are wonderful with homemade grape jelly.

My next article will be...Be prepared for moving day.

Ask Dutchy~ Questions from Alzheimer's Caregivers 101

Asking Dutchy a question about Alzheimer's, Dementia, or any other related elder health care issue, is really easy.

1. Scroll down a bit and on the right is a contact us link.
2. Click that link.
3. Ask your question
4. Click send
5. Dutchy's response time is usually 2 days.

(I had to do this, it just seemed like the right thing to do, in light of the fact that it was my 101st post) ~ Dutchy

Alzheimer's problems with toileting issues

Q: Since my mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia almost 2 years ago, we are continuing to see so many improvements. However, the one area in which there has been no improvement is what we refer to as her "bathroom problems."

She is now in a dementia care unit of an assisted living facility (which is the 2nd one - the 1st facility evicted her due to such problems). My mother does not know when to stop unrolling the toilet tissue, flushing it, causing overflow problems.

At home I could be there with her, or limit the amounts and access to the tissue. In the facility this is not always possible, as her visits are very numerous and frequent due to diuretics. If she is left without any tissue, she becomes very creative by wiping with small articles of clothing, hand towels, pillow cases, etc., which she also tries to flush away causing major plumbing problems. Therefore, the toilet has been turned off and she has a bedside toilet. Now if out of tissue, the soiled items are hidden under the bed, in drawers, etc.

Also, she does not like the bedside toilet (tried placing it both beside her bed and/or in the bathroom beside the real toilet), so she very often does not use it. She will use the trashcan, or pull her pants down and squat, urinating on the floor beside her bed (but only when she's in her room by herself). She wears disposable briefs, but hardly ever soils them. Caretakers tell me they mop her floor at least a dozen times a day, every day. This facility is very patient and caring. They would like to move her into the lower functioning unit, however, they agree her mind is too alert otherwise for such a placement. When I take her out to eat, or anywhere in public, she has the social skill of/and can pass for a normal elderly lady. (This was definitely not so, however, in the beginning).

Any suggestions? Help! This is hard on everyone! And - Is this a typical problem of some dementia patients?

A: Hi there! First of all let me assure you that the problems you are experiencing are very common!

There are no easy solutions for a problem like this. However I will give you some suggestions that you may wish to try. Toileting issues are one of the hardest to correct, since it isn’t easy for us as care givers to have our eyes on the patient 24 hours a day, and to top that off, we can’t tell when they have the urge to go to the bathroom. So often times it will be missed.


I would suggest three things for you, all three of them are tough suggestions.

Even though she isn't incontinent she still needs some bladder/behavior training. The reason I suggest this is so that those who are caring for her may be able to get her on a schedule, and just assume the responsibility for taking her to the bathroom every two hours. In a way with this training, what you would be attempting is to retrain her to not go to the bathroom at all on her own.

http://www.americangeriatrics.org/products/ui/toolkit.htm This process is very detailed and I have provided a link to a site that spells out this process for you. Note that this process might have to be modified slightly to get the desired behavior results.

The second suggestion is that you consider letting the facility put your mother in the section of the home that is for heavier care residents. They may have more staff to help her with this problem. It is going to require a lot of hands on supervision to re-train her behaviors. Surely they will figure out a way for her to still be involved in activities, and you will still be able to take your mother out for social events.

The third suggestion is to wait it out. The facility may not agree with this solution. To their credit it sounds like they have tried to troubleshoot this problem behavior. Fortunately, with problem behaviors associated with Alzheimer's bad phases usually do not last very long. It might be a few months, even a year, but it will eventually pass, and you will be on to another problem behavior. Perhaps the next one will be easier to handle. I wish you the best with this problem ~ Dutchy

End Stage Alzheimer's

Q:What are some of the behaviors I can expect to see my Dad have in the last stages of Alzheimer's.

A:Thank you for submitting such a great question. I wish I could give you something more definite. But each person goes through this process in his or her own way. But here is a list of typical things you may see in the end stages.

1. Loss of appetite.
2. Loss of ability to eat without assistance.
3. Incontinence of bowel and bladder.
4. Becoming non-ambulatory
5. Sleeping a lot more
6. Significant changes in speech
7. Weight loss
8. Eventual inability to sit up
9. Completely Bed Ridden
10. Eventually pneumonia/other infection/or coma
11. And the eventual passing.

In these late stages of Alzheimer's the caregivers roll does change to that of a person who supplies comforts and the most basic needs. I hope that helps, if you have more questions, please write. ~ Dutchy

Please celebrate with "MyCareLink" and "Ask Dutchy"

In honor of 100 posts on "Ask Dutchy" I would like to show off our new front page to My Care Link’s website.


We have added several features:


On the home page which is www.mycarelink.net, you will notice on left is a section for donating to charities. These links were set up mostly in consideration of the victims of hurricanes Katrina and Rita. We hope that at least some of the money donated from My Care Link’s efforts will be directed towards the elderly for incontinent supplies, and nutritional supplies.



As you note the bar at the bottom of the page you will see that the next section is the Elder Care Support Forum, which is a feature we have had for several months. We hope that you will take this opportunity to see what kinds of things we talk about on the forum and add your thoughts and opinions.



Elder Care Products
is new to My Care Link, our hopes are that you as a caregiver will find these products helpful for those you care for.


Ask Dutchy is a great place to find information about caring for a loved one. Please keep those questions coming!


Next is the Pampered Caregiver, it is something we have wanted to do for quite a long time. When I was a caregiver I longed to go shopping. I think not shopping was the hardest part of taking care of people 24/7. I think I like shopping better than chocolate. We have created a beautiful environment, with a picture of a shop in Florence. Can you imagine yourself there? I can. We will be adding shops as we find them. I am looking for a wide variety of shops for the caregiver, who needs to feel pampered.


NOTE: any purchase enables the “Ask Dutchy” site and My Care Link sites to continue in supporting the elder care community.


The Helpful Resources section isn’t new to our site, but it is now a part of the links on the front page of our site.



Also on the front page is our new button links. One of these is entitled Featured Book, Each month we will highlight a book, and include a review from “Ask Dutchy” to help you in your quest for information on Alzheimer’s Disease and other eldercare issues.


Since we're talking about the forum, let’s go ahead and discuss the other three button links we added:

Quote of the Day is a daily thought on aging or caregiving. It will change each day. Perhaps it will spark a thought on a topic related to aging, and you will share your thoughts with all of us on the forum. These quotes are very appropriate for our site.


Random Forum Post picks a random post on our support forum and displays it, we thought this might be interesting for people who are visiting the site for the first time. (ok, so I like the feature too!)


The last button link is Tell A Friend. With Alzheimer’s Disease reaching over 12 million by mid-century, we at My Care Link would like to encourage you to share this site with your friends. Knowledge is power! They may find the information more helpful than you could ever imagine. Or chances are they know someone with Alzheimer's that would benefit from the forum or “Ask Dutchy” posts. So please take the time to tell others about My Care Link.


As always you are encouraged to contact My Care Link if you have any questions regarding the website, content, or if you have a question ~ See you at the site ~ Dutchy



I hope you enjoy our new features. ~ Dutchy

Nursing Home Abuse part ll

Several weeks ago a friend sent me some information on this nursing home in Florida, where a death occurred the same night his wife was beat. Another reader sent me an update on this story this morning.


Lake Mary care center accused of neglect
Gary Taylor
Sentinel Staff Writer

October 7, 2005

An assisted-living facility in Lake Mary is being sued for allegedly abusing and neglecting an 89-year-old resident who died in June.

The suit, filed Wednesday in Circuit Court in Seminole County, seeks damages of more than $15,000 from The Gables at Lake Mary in the June 9 death of Stella Schwager.

A criminal investigation into Schwager's death is ongoing, Lake Mary police Chief Richard Beary said Thursday. "It's still an active investigation," he said.

Investigators with the state Agency for Health Care Administration visited the facility at 3655 W. Lake Mary Blvd. less than a week after Schwager's death and issued an order prohibiting it from accepting new patients.

"It was determined that the facility neglected a resident and/or failed to provide care and services appropriate for the needs of a resident resulting in the death of a resident," the order said.

A moratorium on new patients is still in place, a spokesman for the agency said Thursday. The facility is being monitored closely to make sure it is in compliance with state regulations and is visited at least weekly by someone from the agency, Jonathan Burns said. The facility currently has 74 residents.

Schwager's daughter, Joan Matonis of Apopka, alleges in her suit that her mother complained of severe pain for 22 days after an X-ray showed her colon was blocked because it was impacted.

"It is our policy that we do not comment about pending litigation," said Tracy Badcock, a vice president of Woodbridge, N.J.-based Spring Hills, parent company of the Lake Mary facility.


Here is a link to the original post on this story.

Stigma of Alzheimer's

As our own Dad struggles through his daily routine, with what we suspect to be Alzheimer's/ Dementia, our Mom tries so hard to hide it from everyone!

Several weeks ago, a woman in our church told us that she had asked our Mom how Dad was doing. She was hoping our Mom would open up. Instead, Mom answered, "He's fine!"

Here is a short list of some of the things Dad is doing fine with.

1. He is unable to complete any project.
2. He has stated that some days he can't remember his name.
3. During a recent hospital stay he caused quite a stir among the staff, enough so that the doctor asked my Mom, "Does he get confused?"
4. He has been taken off the song leading roster at church, because he gets so confused.
5. He keeps a notebook with nonsense notes.
6. He wears odd attire.
7. He doesn't know what doses of medicine he should be taking.
8. He cannot keep up in a social setting any longer.
9. Several weeks ago he started yelling at a car salesman acusing him of identity theft.
10. He couldn't figure out a call button at the hospital.

Still our mother refuses to admit he has something wrong with him.

What is the stigma?

1. I believe she is "old school" she comes from a generation where people don't talk about their problems.
2. I think she is embarrassed wondering what all of her friends are thinking!
3. I also think she is scared.
4. Or she suffers from the frog in the pot syndrome. Meaning, she has been watching him decline so gradually that she doesn't notice how much she compensates for him.


What can we do? What can you do, if you find yourself in this situation?
1. Find a support group and ask her to come to a meeting.
2. Have her friends be more open about it. Tell them to confront my Mom.
3. Educate her, she needs to know that she can help him if she takes him to a doctor now. An early diagnosis is much better.
4. Encourage her to accept support from those who want to help.
5. Pray that she will accept the situation for what it is.

If your loved one is like my Mom, hang in there....it could be a while before she accepts the truth.

Definition of Love

A friend sent this to me. I wanted to share it with you:

BEST DEFINITION OF LOVE I HAVE EVER HEARD ...

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a.m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs
and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had
another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no
longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there are some that come along that have an important message, and this is one of those kind. Just had to share it with you all.

Peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. (Amen to that!)

Please share this with someone you care about!

Fun Facts About The Ask Dutchy Site

1. The question that traveled the farthest to reach Dutchy's desk, comes from the Florida Keys, approximately 3023 miles. Thanks Elaine!

2. For a question traveling the farthest, outside the US, traveling 3010 miles is from San Salvador, El Salvador. Thank you Maria.

3. We have a readership from over 27 different countries including; Norway, Germany, Romania, Sweden, Saudi Arabia, Canada, Australia, Netherlands, Japan, Finland, Mexico, South Afica, Malaysia, United Kingdom, Austria, Philippines, Singapore, Turkey, Portugal, France, Russian Federation, India, Viet Nam, New Zealand, Poland, Thailand, Hungary and the United States.

4. Every month since we began Ask Dutchy, we have experienced over a 50% growth rate in readership.

5. The most common questions asked are about assisting your loved ones with eating and drinking.

6. My favorite post is The Dryer Ate Your Underwear, because it still makes me laugh!

7. The hardest post to write was the post concerning suicide, My Father Wants to Kill Himself.

8. Most popular Ask Dutchy post is an article that was never actually an Ask Dutchy.
It is entitled, Who wants to end up in a nursing home? NO ONE! It has been picked up for use by several nursing schools.

9. The post that is picked up the most often by a google search is, Yikes, Toe Nail Fungus.

10. There is one post that Dutchy forgot to put a title on. Do you know which one it is?

11. Dutchy's favorite thing to do is answer questions, so keep them coming.~ Dutchy